What Is Work/Life Balance?
Posted by Dr. Judy at 9:13 pm
Q. I just can’t do it all! Work, relationship, kids, parents, friends, etc. There is never enough time in my day. Free time is a fantasy! And if I do take time for myself, I feel guilty. I am drowning in a sea of responsibilities! What is work/life balance?
A. Everyone I am talking to seems to feel the same way. There just isn’t enough time to do or be it all! Breaking news. No one CAN do or be it all. So let me throw you a life raft. We all have the same amount of time. How you decide to use yours needs to be a sacred gift to yourself, not a reaction to what someone else wants.
Ask yourself some soul-searching questions:
What do I really want?
What is getting in the way of what I want?
What am I tolerating?
What would I be doing differently if my life was sailing smoothly?
Am I living my values or those of others?
Write down the answers and focus on YOU, not what you think everyone else wants or expects. What themes do you notice? Focus and what you WANT to BE as well as what you NEED to DO? If you don’t see the balance, ask:
Do I feel worthy, creative, and resourceful?
Do I feel like I am enough to handle my life?
Am I assertive enough to say what I need?
If your answer to any question is “No”, I will kindly remind you, like every person walking the planet, you have a right to honor yourself. This is not selfish, it is imperative. The more you take care of yourself, the more you will have to give to others. Neglect YOU, and you will ironically neglect others. Today is all you have. Yes, I know this is easier said than done, but harness your optimism, tenacity, and wisdom personality strengths. Focus on them to help you float over the waves of overwhelm.
I can hear the “Yes, but” in your thinking. Is this your inner critic yelling, “Yes, but it still needs to get done?” Join the human race, as every responsible person I know has faced your dilemma. And no one will ever get it all done! Life is movement. Go with the flow and quit trying to swim upstream!
Tips of tolerate your “busyness”:
Just like a dog after a dip in the water, shake off all you truly do not need!
Sink back into your life and be grateful for the abundance you do have.
Note with curiosity even the smallest happiness you experience and smile.
Pause, breathe, and be aware. What is NOW truly is all there is.
Say “Yes!” to life and don’t fight what you cannot change.
Laugh even when it seems there is nothing to laugh about. It will shift your perspective. It sounds weird, but I challenge you to try it with your friends. It is fun, contagious, and it works!
If you still feel stuck, get a life coach to help you dive in and map out a plan to navigate your life. Remember that old proverb, “This place, this time, mighty fine?” Today is yours. You can choose to worry when life’s challenges overwhelm you, or you can choose to live your life your way. Take control of what you do have…YOU!
Judy Krings, Ph.D.,CMC,ACC
