Author : Dr. Judy

Destination: Imagination and Family Frolic!

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

What do you see when you look at this pile of shoes? Is your curiosity piqued?

A mess? Fun? Wonder what was going on?

The kids and four grand kids were here for a pre-Thanksgiving free-for-all.
I love when I wake up and see all the shoe shapes and sizes. I smile knowing
one day soon, the kids will be grown. I will look at this photo and sigh.
Life is so blame short.

Thanks to my friend from KC Candies, Cheryl, (you gotta treat yourself to these!),
we noshed on gigantic, gluttonous caramel toffee apples, deviled eggs I made from
friend Annie’s free-range feathered friends, cinnamon rolls, sweet and sour
meatballs, fruit salad and other goodies. Did you notice I typed the dessert first?
YUMMY!

Then the grand kids braided neon headband/necklaces and decided they made
better Frisbees! Creativity set lose in our lower level. Grins and giggles, school
stories, and the ipad2 games that stumped this Grammy. This tech savvy
foursome made my head spin!

Want to know how to savor holiday flavors? Pause, breathe, and sit in ease.
Freeze frame a happy moment and for Pete’s sake, keep your camera ready;
unless your memory is a whole lot better than mine when antics are in full swing.

What does your family unleash when you congregate and celebrate?
I’d love to know! Any positive reminiscence memories you’d like to share?
How about a game of truth or dare?

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Speaking of treats and life being short…
give yourself a new book to add giggles, art and learning into your life.
Grab your copy of my new book to discover coaching thrills and building new skills.
“Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

5 Tips to Quit Making Excuses

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

Do you make excuses?

If things go wrong, do you “complain and explain,” to use my
husband Ken’s words. Do you look for and find reasons to justify
your decisions? Bet you know people who live this theme every day.

I read this fascinating quote from “The StoryPeople,” and
it put my neurons on fun alert. Title: Really Good.
“I don’t have a whole lot of excuses for what’s gone wrong with my life,”
she said. “But the ones I do have are really good.”

As a shrink and coach, I’m an analyzer. I love to dig into
why certain weeds incessantly try to bloom in my garden.
Even my license plate reads “Analyze.” Why?
My curiosity strength is one of my signature strengths.
I love to discovery. Maybe that’s why I love NCIS on TV.

Why do you make an excuse?
Maybe you don’t want to do something, so tell a little white lie
to get out of it. Research relays the average person (whoever that is!)
lies many times a day. No kidding!

I’ll fess up. I hate to hurt feelings. An excuse might pop up
if I need to change my plans. I project others will be disappointed,
and I hate believing that. Excuses are like potato chips. Some days
you can’t get enough of them. But do you like all the pounds they
pile upon your positivity bones?

Here are 5 tips to dump your wagon of whining, making excuses, woes:
1. State the facts and shut up!
Ken’s words again. A bit gruff sounding when you first hear them ring
in your ear, but think about it. Which seems better to you: “Hi, Jane.
I know we made plans for Sat., but I need to cancel. I am disappointed.
I would love to reschedule.”  Versus: “Hi, Jane, I really do wish we could
get together Saturday, but, ah, I need to take the cat to the vet, then do errands
I hadn’t planned on, then I need to make some phone calls I have put off,
but so sorry, and hope you can forgive me, and I really mean it…Blah blah.

2. Pause to remember to live your values.
Honesty, integrity, and authenticity are strengths cementing your reputation.
Brings to mind one of my favorite coaching questions,
“How do you want to show up?”

3. Humor is OK!
“Susie, I got caught up and am busier than a 3-armed paper hanger.
Could we reschedule so I can really enjoy our time together?”
Remember the old “Carol Burnett” show? Carol would always be yelling,
“Mama, will you just shut the hell up?” No, it’s not nice to attack others,
but the point is to learn to be assertive. Say what you need openly.
But yes, please be kind!

4. Let go of past mistakes.
They were growth opportunities. Be grateful and appreciate yourself.
Identify what is right about wonderful you, not grieve over what is wrong.
Celebrate with positive self-talk, “I feel good when I tell it like it is. I am
aware of the feelings of others and am respectful, but I stay true to myself.”

5. No guilt trips allowed!
Guilt is like rocking in a rocking chair. It’s something to do, but it doesn’t
get you anywhere. Be grateful and appreciate life. If someone lays a guilt
trip on you, remind yourself, “I am not responsible for how you hear or
translate what I kindly say.” Boundaries are essential.

Maybe excuses hit home because holidays are approaching.
“Overwhelm” seems to be the word of the day. Remember,
“Too much to do!” starts with you. Self-care is essential.
Is that you I see stopping to organize and prioritize?
Getting out the red pen to cross off some unnecessary items?
Still having a problem? Flash me an email. I’ve got a gorilla and
a black grand-dog cock-a-poo, Fido, who will happily chase them away!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all of you who have purchased my new book,
“Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
for Thanksgiving and Christmas gifts. It’s packed with heart-warming
stories and picturesque photography.

Want more adventure?  Don’t forget to take a look at my new book…
“Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Happiness: Son Hari’s Nepal Wisdom

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

What would you take as a gift for your adopted family in Nepal?
All you have is a carry-on for 19 days.

What souvenirs would you want to bring back? Bet you’d want what I did…
Golden memories of meeting my family. Happy, positive reminiscing photos that
would trigger those few days of fun and love.

As Hari’s American mama, “Ama” in Nepalese, I had to bring them all a symbol
of the USA. Materially, I wanted art and a beautiful Buddha and a Hindu
Compassion Buddha.

Hari’s gifts to me were many that I will treasure forever. Mostly treasured were the
gifts of philosophy from his heart. I will get to that in a minute.

You see some of his generously here. There was also tea, ginger, yak butter, candy,
popcorn, and cheese balls! Yes, cheese balls! We ate so many on the trip, he bought
us a case! I even brought some home to Ken.

Hari’s virtuous wisdom:

~ Ama, every day is a good day!

~ We are all blessed. We have happy time together.

~ No worry, AMA. All is as it is supposed to be.

~ There is no late, Ama. This is Nepal!

~ Heart and soul are what matters. You are my gift, Ama.

Talk about strengths in action! How many can you spot?

Wisdom, humor, kindness, beauty, authenticity, generosity, to name a few.

Here’s the back story about the stunning jacket. OK, I admit it, I wanted a jacket,
one that would reflect Nepal’s artistry. It was the last day of our trip and an hour
before we off for the airport. My travel mate wanted one last gift, so lickety-split,
Hari took us off to one of the nicest quality stores. I never dreamed I would get
the jacket you see here. It was pricey, but it fit and I loved the color. That’s when
I saw another side of Hari. The businessman. The son who going to help his Ama
score! He dickered and cajoled. I had $41 dollars left for the long trip home, and
not enough for the jacket. Hari grabbed my moola, but the man would not budge
on the price. Hari had already gotten the price reduced substantially, but I was not
going to buy it. Hari is rich in heart and spirit, but extra rupees were not padding
his packets. Out of nowhere, he with a grin, he opened his wallet and paid the
difference. I protested, but he won.

Back home, I have hung up my beautiful hand embroidered masterpiece so I can
see it every time I enter my closet. A gift of the heart.

How can you look at your strengths and offer someone a gift?
You do… Just by being terrific you!

I love when you email me answer to my questions or comment on a blog.
That is your gift to me and I love you for it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of gifts, thanks to all of you who have purchased my books for holiday
gifts to your clients and friends. “Photo Adventures in Cuba ~Unlock Your
Power of Positivity isn’t just about Cuba. It has 3 questions at the end of each
chapter that are geared for you. These questions to help you spot your strengths
and find creative ways to use them in uniquely powerfully fulfilling ways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’d love to hear from you! Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Want more adventure?  Don’t forget to take a look at my new book…
“Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

Have You Ever Made Your Dreams Come True and Helped Others, Too?

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

Have you ever made your dream come true and helped others, too?

Do you need a pause to mindfully mull over that that powerful question?
It’s your personal positive psychology coaching in action.

Simultaneous positivity. You helping others the same time you are living a bucket list dream.
It trickles down to rivers of lovely life-long memories. Not to mention passion, meaning and
purpose. Here’s my recent story that may help you open your memory bank.

My big time moment of joyful jubilation was watching the thrilled, excited, and shocked
look on the faces of the folks I met during my travels to Cuba last year. I left money as a tip,
but I also left them items I had researched and knew were scarce, or down right impossible,
to procure in Cuba.  Shampoo, make up, tooth brushes, other personal items, colored pens
and paper, markers, nylons, stickers and little toys for the orphanage kids, to name a few.
I had my huge suitcase packed with magazines, books, and other goodies, and even food
treats, hoping I’d not get busted at the border. I made it.

I DID get my naughty self into a jam or two, but I’ll save those stories for you later. My
fellow travelers teased me about my over-sized luggage, but I knew the secret inside.
My few clothes were in my carry on.

Lucky me, after 57 years of waiting (and patience has never been my strong suit!), my
dream to go to Cuba flowered. Why such intent? To share the photos with my Mom.
Her only 2-day vacation with my Daddy was an unexpected ferry ride journey to Havana
after a family emergency in Florida. And they talked about it and relished their photos.

Want to know how you can unleash a flood of positive memories using your character
strengths? (Remember you can always review the list of the Values in Action 24 strengths
at my website)

Here’s 5 Tips to lovingly laminate and celebrate your happy moments:

1. Find old photos and use “Positive Reminiscence”. Famed positive psychology researcher,
Sonja Lyubomirsky shines her coaching positivity light on sealing happy savoring.  How?
Write down cherished happy events in your life.  This nets you greater well-being than if
you only think about happy memories. So Journal your joy!

And that knowledge, dear Watson, led me writing notes to share with my 92 year old Mom,
Louise. I had no intentions whatsoever in writing a book about Cuba, but life intervened,
and those notes were invaluable.

2. List your cherished memories as far back as you can remember. There is an odd
thing that may happen here, so plan ahead. Sometimes when you remember a lovely memory,
a not so fun memory surfaces as well. Kick that one to the curb. Re-enacting the negative
event may spoil your positive memory.

3. Keep your eyes closed while you are remembering the good times. Go ahead and
look at your cherished photos, but then close your eyes. You will remember subtle details,
especially if you are helping someone else. Paint a mental picture of you with them and
feel a smile erupt on your face. Authentic you helping bringing joy to another. Pristine
positivity. I will never forget the look on a Cuban farmer’s face after he had stopped to
let me take a photo of him and is water buffalo team. Gratefully, I handed him a pen and
a candy. His jaw dropped in humble humility. He couldn’t believe his good fortune. He
joyfully stared at that pen as if I had given him all the prizes in one of Oprah’s
“Favorite Things” shows.

4. Sharing is caring and puts memories in bold. To strengthen happy memories, talk
about them out loud. Mom and I talked about Cuba and my Daddy, and other adventures
as we looked at Cuba now. We laughed and neither of us will forget these great times
together. Thank God her memory at 92 is Windex clear.

5. Live for today but be mindful to create memories for tomorrow. Take photos. Close
your eyes and memorize the scene you want to remember. Your brain is your friend! Use it.
You might get teased the way I do when someone notices me, but who cares. I want to
cement my fun for the days to come when my travels are done.

Tell friends your stories. Jack up your courage strength and go on a radio show. Hosts
are always looking for fun people with interesting experiences to share.

Want to keep your momentum going? Think of a dream you have. Make a plan. Set a timeline.
Weave in ways you can help others. Give win win a spin! Your treasured memories await.
And speaking of looking for the good, using your brain also wards off dementia.
How’s that for motivation?

“Go ahead and make my day”, as Clint Eastwood would say! I would LOVE to hear your
happy stories, so please send me a comment and share.

“Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.” ~ Les Brown

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Want more adventurous ways to spice up our life and create your best life zest?
Then you’ll love my new book, “Photo Adventures in Cuba – Unlock Your Power of
Positivity”. Get your Kindle, ireader, Ebook or print book at: Amazon.com

My Nepal Family Reunion Rocks!

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

Have you ever dreamed of visiting a family member you have never met?
One who lived far away? Maybe even thousands of miles away?

I suppose three years over the span of my lifetime isn’t a long time to wait, but it surely
seemed that way. But great experiences are worth exercising your patience strength.

Those of you on my Facebook, may recognize my adopted son, Hari Aryal,
(FB name is Hari Prasad Aryal) who lives in the countryside a long bus ride from where
he works as a trekking guide and office worker for renowned Earthbound Expeditions.
They are the company who makes your travel to Nepal, India, and Tibet your trip of a lifetime.

I will tell you lots more about the trip in future blogs. It was amazing, incredible and a
lifetime memory-maker, but I thought you’d enjoy knowing the back story about Hari.

Three years ago I was heading to Kathmandu for the Positive Psychology Appreciative
Inquiry conference. Poor Mom broke her ankle and the trip needed to wait. Then two
years ago, Mom landed in the hospital after her legs decided to pitch a fit again. Don’t
you love it when things seem to challenge plans and later you realize that the timing of
those events made your life all the sweeter? That’s what happened re: Hari.

When I researched Earthbound Expeditions, I began to correspond with Hari, then 24.
We became great friends and correspondents. He apologizes about his English, but he
is a poet whose descriptions of Nepal (Never-ending Peace and Love) made my mouth
water. His Himalayas jumped out at me in vivid, jaw-dropping photos and ginger honey
words. I was hooked on Nepal, but meeting Hari sweetened the pot and made my mission
more imperative.

For years he asked about my family, especially Grammy, whose capers he follows in my blog.
One day, after a particularly wonderful email, I signed off, “Your American Mama.”
The flood gates to his heart opened. Hari’s own Mom had died when he was three.
He had always dreamed of having a mother. Now he has his “Ama,” as they say in Nepal.
Talk about positivity!

After that, I felt the door to my heart open even wider. So did his. We shared and cared.
It’s never too late to add more love. I will tell you, Hari has taught me more about living
your values than anyone else I have ever met. Hari always says, “No worries, Ama, all is OK!”

In the photo you see Hari and his adorable family. His adorable kids are 4 and 6.
Isn’t Dipa his wife, stunning?

I had thought seeing Mt. Everest and the jaw-dropping scenery of Nepal and Tibet was
my #1 agenda. But Hari changed all that. His humanity and incredible kindness reminded
me no matter what the beauty, it is people who spin the stunning textures into your life.

Have you ever added to your “family” and watched your life light up like the vibrant
reds, yellows and oranges on your autumn maple tree of life? How did it change the
seasons of your life?

My travel tips?

~ Smile!
~ Be the first to say hello.
~ Have an open mind and heart.
~ Keep moderate expectations so the good will really star!
~ Be generous and appreciative.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What would you like to know about my trip to Nepal and Tibet?
I’d love to hear from you! Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Want more adventure?  Don’t forget to take a look at my new book…
“Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!