Do you have that little voice someone who incessantly talks to you?
Tells you how you screwed up, puts you down, or belittles you when
life has given you too many sour notes? Is ”second-guessing” yourself
embedded in your brain?

Or does your little voice positivity remind you of what you need or want
to do to make your day meaningful? Your inner voice is like the Energizer
Bunny who never winds down offering you hope and happiness?

I don’t know about you, but I was born an obsessive thinker.
My “internal dialogue”  or self-talk starts chattering in my head as soon as
I wake up. Sometimes it’s talking  about left-over stuff and other times with
novelty. Did you know your brain solves problems for you, offers you ideas,
or clarifies your world while you sleep?  Yes, during sleep your brain is still
chomping away like a busy beaver.

Like everything else, obsessive thinking can be a pro or con. Great part is you
can generate ideas. On a good day, the creative stuff pops out and you muse
about fun ideas and possibilities. That’s super. You then can then develop an
action plan and create goals and accomplish them and YIPPEE!

On a tough day, your inner critic may pop out, slap you around, reminding you
that your membership in the ”Royal Flunkee Club” is well deserved.

What if you just accepted that your brain works nonstop? To savor your curiosity
and energy that allows you to get more things happily done? To accept yourself
rather than listening to chastising, harsh self talk.

What can you DO to get your inner dialogue to stop?

1. Physically get up and move! Changing your environment gives the brain
a diversion and helps quell your obsessiveness. It fires up your brain to pay
attention to something else. A re-framing relief.

2. Magic slate it away. When I was in coach training years ago, and
I was  incessantly beating myself up for a mistake, esteemed Anne Durand,
MentorCoach  CEO,  told me, “This is not rocket science! It is one coaching
session. Judy, let it go!” But obsessive  me, I was still angry with myself.
Exasperated, she admonished, “Get over your big, damn self!”  I smiled.
She was right. And boy did that idea stick!

3. Treat yourself with respect.You are respectful to others; why not try on
that size yourself? You can tailor your inner self talk to look for the good. It works!

4. Write down one good thing that happened each day. One gratitude,
one good experience, anything that made you smile. Humor is another spirit lifter.
Remember those cancer patients who watched funny sitcoms got better faster
and lived longer?

5. Reread your positive intentions and affirmations.Praise yourself for
following through. Be gentle with yourself. Quit putting your washing machine
cycle on heavy duty!  Tell yourself affirming self-statements, “It was hard, but
I did it.  I am proud of myself.”

6. Accept you ain’t perfect! That is what is so wonderful about you!
Your uniqueness and  mess ups make you a lovely human. If your brain
works over time, love it anyway. Making mistakes is always your golden
opportunity to learn. Living is learning and it keeps your brain in tiptop
shape. It even wards off dementia!

7. What you focus on grows. You can retrain your brain. The more you
focus on how  wonderful you are, the more your brain will believe it. Your neurons
will sprout positivity.  Use your tenacity strength. Find a positivity partner who
will help you remember to let go of your sticky negativity. Being accountable to
someone propels your positivity into high gear. Watch your confidence and
competence add sparkle to your life.

Have any light bulbs turned on for you obsessive thinkers?
May I kindly ask you to LET GO! of stinkin’ obsessive thinkin’.
Forgive and accept yourself, warts and all.

Go stomp in the rain or have a snowball fight. Smile at life.
No beating yourself up. Hug your ever-moving brain and thank God you have one!

Did I hear a negative “Yes…But this is hard!” emanating from your mouth?
My Mom used to teasingly threaten me, “Do you want me to come after
you with the fly swatter?”  Ouch!

Nah, you don’t need a sting, you need to learn to sing! How ’bout:

“I love myself, yes I do, do-dah, do-dah,
I love myself in every way, oh do-dah day!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Want to review your strengths and see how to make them work for you?
You can see fun and picturesque 2-page stories in my new book.
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity!
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Related Posts

• 7 Tips to Happy New Year Happiness
• How to Celebrate When Your Goals Go Great!
• 5 Tips to Quit Making Excuses

One more thing…
When you make the joyful decision to transform your life into the dream
you have imagined, and you get a coach, always let your coach know about
how you like to be coached:  Gentle nudge; Energetic encouragement, Direct
suggestions, Pedal to the metal and full steam ahead;  Saunter and savor;
Send me information emails; or Nail me if I am not accountable!
You direct your coach’s traffic. I love your feedback and appreciate every
comment. What’s whipping around in your plans turns my cream into savory butter!

Related Posts

• Kick Obsessiveness to the Curb!
• 7 Tips to Happy New Year Happiness
• Spontaneous Humor: Ho Ho Ho Frivolous Play Flow!

Has your life ever been hi-jacked? Let me tell you a true story.
It began 4 years ago. How would you feel if this happened to you?

What if you were 89 years old and in one fell swoop lost your identity
as you had known it? You were whisked off to an assisted living center,
your broken ankle in a cast, your butt in a wheelchair, and deaf because
no one remembered to bring along your cochlear implant? Your daughter
is desperately trying to get a plane flight to come and look after you.
Shockingly quick, within a matter of days per your wishes, your house is
sold for a low ball price. You will never see the home you designed and
built 50 years ago. No saying good-bye to your possessions. Never get to
water your precious plants in your beloved greenhouse. No one last time.
Tough to swallow, but at least you rationalize your house was sold. That’s
how fast life locked the door to my Mom’s reality.

Resilience. Pluck. Awareness and acceptance. They all took time.
But her 90th birthday surprise a month later really perked her up.
Connections. Belonging. Tenacity to heal. Petting her sweet Scottie
dog, Katie, once in awhile, made life worth living again. As you know,
Mom is now 93, out of assisted living, and as she put it, “Living like a
princess, no make that a queen!” at Cathy and Bill’s home in Delaware.
She’s the one with two dogs in her lap with 3 larger pups vying for attention.

But one small detail was lacking, not that Mom would ever complain.
Mom’s hands have been knotted and swollen by arthritis for years.
She missed wearing a ring, but she didn’t want me to buy her new ones nor
to have her rings sized larger. But one day a few months ago, she was
philosophically saying she did miss wearing a ring, but she knew none would fit.

You know me; I had a light bulb moment. On my next flight home, I took all
her rings. I also went to an antique shop and bought 3 I thought might fit.
Full of hope, off to Delaware I flew, rings tucked safely in my purse along
with the whole top tray of her old jewelry box.

To see Mom’s face light up when she saw those rings was worth a million bucks.
With vigor and hope in her heart, she delightedly tried on every one. To her
surprise, several fit. Talk about joy! I was praying her 30 year old watch would
work, too, if I could find a battery. Eureka! I lucked out. That old turquoise
time piece kindly began tick-tocking away.

I am in my 6th decade, and it never ceases to amaze me how every time I
visit Mom, I learn something new about life. To savor. To let go of regrets.
To look for the good. To appreciate EVERYTHING! Mom is the poster girl
for living positive psychology and living her best life now.

Turquoise blue like the azure seas of the Pacific…I look down upon this beauty
ever day from our jungle perch here in Puerto Vallarta.  Everyday I think of
Mom wearing her rings and watch.

What has been your toughest life challenge?
Which strengths became your life preserver?
Which ones plastered a smile upon your face again?
Courage, love of learning, forgiveness? What else?

No matter what, you have 24 strengths to choose from everyday to feather
your nest.  Time to soar to new heights. Just like Mom.Did you remember
I wrote a strengths book dedicated to her?

Want to review your strengths and see how to make them work for you?
You can see fun and picturesque 2-page stories in my new book.
Click here to take a peek!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Related Posts

• Full-time Employment and Flying High!
• 7 Character Strengths Tips to Well-Being and How To Pay It Forward
• 7 Virtues of a Good Man

© 2012 Dr. Judy Krings

“A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes.”
~Mahatma Gandhi

Do you start off every New Year’s with telling yourself what you want, need
to, or have to change? What if you actively thought and focused on what is
already RIGHT about your life?

Let me tell you a story about Hari, my adopted son from Nepal. Hari sacrifices
every time he calls me from his expensive cell phone, but he says, “Ama, I just
want to hear your voice.” He isn’t able to call often. Sometimes he has a 4-hour
round bus trip to call or email me. Many times I am with a coaching client, and
I cannot take his call. It kills me when I see it’s him as my phone flashes his number
and I cannot take his call.

Today I was coaching a super sweet, lovely client when his number beeped in.
Usually I would never interrupt a client’s session. But this lady is a super Mom gem,
and I had a gut feeling I needed to take Hari’s call. I asked her permission, and she
was thrilled for me. She happily encouraged me to take it. Bless her!

Back story? Hari, 27, has had many losses in his life, including his mother when
he was 3. In September, Hari lost much of his home and the lean-to for his only
cow in the Nepal earthquake.  I was dying to see how he and his wife and two
kids were doing. He works as a Himalayan guide and does office work at Earthbound
Expeditions In Kathmandu. No one climbs the Himalayas this time of year, so money
is scarce. When my two friends and I were going to visit his home, the roads were
washed out. Hari did not want me to know his house had major damage. He never
wants me to worry about him. He always wants to support me! I didn’t know about
his loss until I returned from Nepal. He only wanted me to remember the good.

After we chatted a short time today, I knew Hari was OK. He was starting to
work on his destroyed home. Heartbreaking, In a third world country like
Nepal, everything happens at a snail’s pace, and Hari is not a man of means.
He needed  to save money before he could begin to rebuild. In his heart,
however, Hari is the richest man alive. He lives his Hindu religion and is the
most positive man I have ever met.

When I quickly returned to my coaching session, my client who follows my blog,
was curious to learn about Hari’s philosophy. She and I had been discussing her
wanting more focus and simplicity in life. I told her what I had learned about
Hari in Nepal, while he was swinging on a 40′ tall bamboo swing. The swings
are erected for holiday celebrations, and people in Nepal are very excited
about standing up and swinging as high to Heaven as they can.

Hari did not know I had walked down to where he was swinging. I stood on
the sidelines savoring the huge grin on his face. With every pull to make the
swing go forward, he yelled the word, “Yes!” over and over.

After the Hari call, my delighted client, now in a very upbeat mode, retorted,
“This is perfect! That is what I need to do. To say ‘YES’ to my life instead of
always focusing on how I need to multi-task to do more. I get It.  Awareness…
Acceptance… To appreciate the little things. That is what I need…Simplicity.
Enjoying what I learned from Hari! This IS my real life. This man has few
material things, but he embraces life and loves Nepal and his family, and you,
his American Mom. This session Is perfect! You respected me and Hari.
He called just to hear your voice. Wow! This makes him happy. And all along
I have been looking for this big concept, ‘What an I do to get happier?’
Now I get it!”

Talk about a win-win! I profusely thanked her for reflecting her virtues and
strengths. Her optimistic, loving, kind, forgiving, and curious values helped
me use my courage strength to ask her permission to talk to Hari. She is
thrilled that I am blogging about this so she can pay her new learning forward.

What do you want to say YES! to in your life? You make my day when I hear
from you, so please put a smile on my face and drop me and email.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Savor a new adventure and the beautiful photography in my new book:
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Related Posts

• Happiness: Son Hari's Nepal Wisdom
• Confidence Quotes Fly In On Serendipity Wings
• Radio Positive Psychology Coaching Tips Inspire

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

Are you the champagne guzzlin’, midnight hot-lipped kisser,
“HAPPY NEW YEAR” celebrator? Or maybe you love to sit quietly
at home and watch the NY Time Square folks in all their revelry.
Or do you sleep through the commotion thinking New Year’s is just another day?

I like to ponder the past a bit and then think how I want the
next year to be. Some years I make an intention to focus on a theme,
like “Less,” “Freedom,” Peace,” or “Forgiveness.”  Other years I have a
very specific plan and goal. Last year’s was “Get your book published!”
Talk about the need to line up all my character strengths to pull that one off!
Huge thanks to all you faithful supporters who bought my book and let me
know how much you are enjoying it. Click here to see the listing on Amazon!

How can you know, absolutely know, you will be happier this year? Here’s how:

1. Look for all the positives about yourself. If you get stuck, ask several trusted
friends what is positively unique about you. Their responses will blow you away.
Life satisfaction is a largely a result of whether you feel good about who you are.
You need to confidently know you are going in the direction of growth and
achievement. Use your strengths to stand up to adversity. Look challenges
in the eye and yell, “Bring it on!”

2. Be courageous. Know you are the master of your universe and the skilled
captain of your ship. Make an action plan and “ACT, NOT REACT” with negativity
when life seems to be rotating off its axis. You are in control. Plan and follow
through with specific goals. Be accountable!

3. Reach out to others.  Extroverted folks have an easier time in life and report
they are happier than introverts. That said, introverts can learn to be more
social, more hopeful and more upbeat if they seek out supportive relationships.
Remember, I said you need to be courageous! Even a smile opens doors.

4. Own an optimistic attitude. This is key to you becoming happier. Negativity
breeds like fruit flies! Keep those negative nuisance thoughts in their petri dish!
Be hopeful yet realistic. Watch your confidence soar. Look for the good.
You will find it if you focus on it.

5. Power up positive social relationships. This is major and two-pronged:
social support and emotional intimacy. If you have loyal and understanding
friends with whom you confide (if they add humor, all the better!), you will
report greater subjective well-being. Deep emotional relationships add
sparkle and clarity to your life. Coping with life’s problems and feeling better
about yourself is easier when you have others who emotionally care and share.

6. Vision, purpose, and meaning. Huge concepts! Add spirituality and get double
your pleasure happiness. This takes soul-searching and ongoing awareness to
achieve balance. Acknowledge what you want in life and why. Make a plan to
master your wishes. Be in the service of others as well as maintaining your own
vision. It’s OK to be off balance! That’s called NORMAL! Plant new seeds of learning
and watch your happiness grow. Be mindful of what you want in life. Keep moving
forward, even when life’s head winds make your journey challenging.

7. Negative internal dialogue? Let go of it!  When you hear your inner critic,
that nasty little part of yourself that puts you down, banish it to the sidelines.
Accept and hug it if you want, but let it know YOU are in charge of your own life.
You are a winner. Listen to your positivity. Remember to embrace your strengths.

If this were a quiz, how would you score? How about using these tips as your
New Year plan or goal? You are wonderful, creative, and have within yourself
every blame thing you need to bask in well-being and happiness.

Happy New Year! Make me dance like the Cuban dancer you see in my photo.
Flash me an email and let me know how you measure your New Year happiness.
I’ll be so grateful to hear from you.

Can you see me waving at you with a gigantic grin belting out,
“Love, Light, and Laughter! ?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Savor a new adventure and the beautiful photography in my new book:
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Related Posts

• Kick Obsessiveness to the Curb!
• 5 Tips to Quit Making Excuses
• Full-time Employment and Flying High!

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

Are you the type who loves all the hustle and bustle of the holidays?
Or are you someone who feels like Scrooge on a bad day and wishes
all the folderol was over?  Maybe you are somewhere in between.
Regardless, I have a solution to lighten up your load for the holidays
as well as your New Year to-do lists.

Spontaneous “frivolous flow play!”

I read this phrase from StoryPeople the other day and cracked up. Me to a tee:
“Silly in Public: I figured out that if I keep it up, someday I’ll probably get wise
enough to be silly in public but I probably won’t wait that long.”

I didn’t wait long as this photo reveals!

Did you ever sit on Santa’s lap? Were you scared?
Did you eye him up good before you took a seat?

When I was about 5, I remember seeing the string on Santa’s beard and asking
myself, “What’s with that?”  I asked Mom, and she said he was a helper. Santa was
too busy to be everywhere at one time. That was all I needed to hear.
Whew, Santa was real!

When I was in Delaware visiting Mom as few weeks ago, my best friend,
Cheryl Lynn eyed Santa and Mrs. Claus sitting on the boardwalk ready
for the young’ins to arrive. I couldn’t resist! Memories are a soft place to land.

Here’s a tip. Get someone to take a photo of your frolic.
I was so appreciative Cheryl caught the moment. Any time with her is a treat,
but we now have another shared memory to laugh at and roll our eyeballs
when our tandem rocking chairs creak. A double-your-pleasure of positive reminiscing.

Hope your holidays sparkled. What frivolous fun play might you allow yourself today?
Funny how jumping at an opportunity to laugh while others gasp fills up your
gratitude tank and re-frames the moment to joy.

Is that you I spy looking for an opportunity to pounce?
I love to here from you! What did you do to curl your toes this holiday season?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Want more frivolous fun flow in 2012?  Join me in Cuba…

Savor a new adventure and the beautiful photography in my new book:
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Related Posts

• It's Never Too Late to Appreciate
• Destination: Imagination and Family Frolic!
• Confidence Quotes Fly In On Serendipity Wings

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

What does a pencil mean to you?

My husband sent me this message about a pencil.
I’d never seen it. I included it as is, but you know me.
I had to sharpen my own pencil and add five more friendly, non-toxic tips.

A Pencil Maker told the pencil 5 lessons just before putting it in the box:

1. Everything you do will always leave a mark.

2. You can always correct the mistakes you make.

3. What is important is what is inside of you.

4.  In life you will undergo painful sharpening;
which will only make you better.

5. To be the best pencil you must allow yourself to be held
and guided by the hand that holds you.

We all need to be constantly sharpened.
This parable may encourage you to know that you are a special person,
with unique God-given talents and abilities.  Only you can fulfill
the purpose which you were born to accomplish.
Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is
insignificant and cannot be changed and, like the pencil, always
remember that the most important part of who you are, is what’s
inside of you and then allow yourself to be guided by the hand of God.

Judy’s 5 Tips To Wisdom Bliss:

1. Your pencil showcases your strengths.
Creativity, kindness, and gratitude to name a few.

2. Your life may get dull. It’s up to you to be aware and seek out new opportunities.

3.  What you write on your wall of life also affects others.
Be mindful your writing language is powerful.

4. You can share your pencil with another who has none.
Communities share great stories!

5. You are creative, resourceful, whole, and enough. Your pencil is magic.
Your possibilities are infinite!

Ok, what would you add? Come on! Stretch your creativity muscle.
I’d love to read your pencil-packin’ wisdom.

Is that you I see with a sharpener?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And speaking of writing, the holidays are coming.
Treat yourself, friends and family to my new book:
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Related Posts

• Cheerios with a 2-Dog Character Strengths Chaser!
• Confidence Quotes Fly In On Serendipity Wings
• Gratitude Blast from the Past

You did it! You had a big, audacious hairy goal, and you achieved it! Hot dog dandy!
You slogged through the “I am EVER going to get closure on this?” to
“Yippee, it’s finished!”  Maybe you had to put your seatbelt on to survive
all the turbulence, but you flew through the clouds into sunny skies.

Then what? Did you unceremoniously cross it off your “I’m relieved” list?
Did you routinely move onto your next task? If so, Whoa! Hold on Bubba…
There’s something wrong with this story.

Try this instead. Slow down your train.

Remember the old adage about the guy who was riding the train in the most
beautiful country in the world? The scenery outside was magically magnificent.
Trouble is the guy never looked outside. He is so intent on getting to his
destination, he forgot to enjoy his incredible ride. He got there, but no
stunning journey fanfare.

When I finally published my book, the day came unexpectedly. After months of
publishing delays and a few bald spots from pulling my hair out, I couldn’t believe
it was happening.

Then an idea hit me! I needed to anchor the day and fly high! I hesitated a moment
before I picked up the phone to call our small airport. Clarity. Blue skies.
What better way to remember the day?

But wait, another idea took wing. I phoned my friend under the guise of having
her take photos. You know, sentimental me. What she didn’t know? She was
going with me! Till that day, I had no idea she had never flown in a small plane.
A win-win flying spin!

How have you celebrated a huge goal accomplishment? Did you pause and sit
into your joy? I sure as heck hope you took the time to let the win sink in!
You deserve it. And notice the colorful windsock saluting the sky in your honor.

I would love to hear how you celebrated your, “YES!!! I did it!” big goal
accomplishment glory. Is that you I see renting a plane and doing loop-de-loops?

Want to celebrate with me?
Gift yourself, your clients and friends with a snappy, vivacious, uplifting treat.
Humbly, I think their coffee table would be perfect for my colorful photo book
with a big positivity heart. “Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power
of Positivity.” Check out my website at…Click here to take a peek!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Related Posts

• Kick Obsessiveness to the Curb!
• Fun Quiz: Am I Ready for Coaching?
• 7 Tips to Happy New Year Happiness

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

What do you see when you look at this pile of shoes? Is your curiosity piqued?

A mess? Fun? Wonder what was going on?

The kids and four grand kids were here for a pre-Thanksgiving free-for-all.
I love when I wake up and see all the shoe shapes and sizes. I smile knowing
one day soon, the kids will be grown. I will look at this photo and sigh.
Life is so blame short.

Thanks to my friend from KC Candies, Cheryl, (you gotta treat yourself to these!),
we noshed on gigantic, gluttonous caramel toffee apples, deviled eggs I made from
friend Annie’s free-range feathered friends, cinnamon rolls, sweet and sour
meatballs, fruit salad and other goodies. Did you notice I typed the dessert first?
YUMMY!

Then the grand kids braided neon headband/necklaces and decided they made
better Frisbees! Creativity set lose in our lower level. Grins and giggles, school
stories, and the ipad2 games that stumped this Grammy. This tech savvy
foursome made my head spin!

Want to know how to savor holiday flavors? Pause, breathe, and sit in ease.
Freeze frame a happy moment and for Pete’s sake, keep your camera ready;
unless your memory is a whole lot better than mine when antics are in full swing.

What does your family unleash when you congregate and celebrate?
I’d love to know! Any positive reminiscence memories you’d like to share?
How about a game of truth or dare?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of treats and life being short…
give yourself a new book to add giggles, art and learning into your life.
Grab your copy of my new book to discover coaching thrills and building new skills.
“Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Related Posts

• Spontaneous Humor: Ho Ho Ho Frivolous Play Flow!
• 3 Tips How to Exercise Your Personal Affirmation Muscle
• How to Celebrate When Your Goals Go Great!

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

Do you make excuses?

If things go wrong, do you “complain and explain,” to use my
husband Ken’s words. Do you look for and find reasons to justify
your decisions? Bet you know people who live this theme every day.

I read this fascinating quote from “The StoryPeople,” and
it put my neurons on fun alert. Title: Really Good.
“I don’t have a whole lot of excuses for what’s gone wrong with my life,”
she said. “But the ones I do have are really good.”

As a shrink and coach, I’m an analyzer. I love to dig into
why certain weeds incessantly try to bloom in my garden.
Even my license plate reads “Analyze.” Why?
My curiosity strength is one of my signature strengths.
I love to discovery. Maybe that’s why I love NCIS on TV.

Why do you make an excuse?
Maybe you don’t want to do something, so tell a little white lie
to get out of it. Research relays the average person (whoever that is!)
lies many times a day. No kidding!

I’ll fess up. I hate to hurt feelings. An excuse might pop up
if I need to change my plans. I project others will be disappointed,
and I hate believing that. Excuses are like potato chips. Some days
you can’t get enough of them. But do you like all the pounds they
pile upon your positivity bones?

Here are 5 tips to dump your wagon of whining, making excuses, woes:
1. State the facts and shut up!
Ken’s words again. A bit gruff sounding when you first hear them ring
in your ear, but think about it. Which seems better to you: “Hi, Jane.
I know we made plans for Sat., but I need to cancel. I am disappointed.
I would love to reschedule.”  Versus: “Hi, Jane, I really do wish we could
get together Saturday, but, ah, I need to take the cat to the vet, then do errands
I hadn’t planned on, then I need to make some phone calls I have put off,
but so sorry, and hope you can forgive me, and I really mean it…Blah blah.

2. Pause to remember to live your values.
Honesty, integrity, and authenticity are strengths cementing your reputation.
Brings to mind one of my favorite coaching questions,
“How do you want to show up?”

3. Humor is OK!
“Susie, I got caught up and am busier than a 3-armed paper hanger.
Could we reschedule so I can really enjoy our time together?”
Remember the old “Carol Burnett” show? Carol would always be yelling,
“Mama, will you just shut the hell up?” No, it’s not nice to attack others,
but the point is to learn to be assertive. Say what you need openly.
But yes, please be kind!

4. Let go of past mistakes.
They were growth opportunities. Be grateful and appreciate yourself.
Identify what is right about wonderful you, not grieve over what is wrong.
Celebrate with positive self-talk, “I feel good when I tell it like it is. I am
aware of the feelings of others and am respectful, but I stay true to myself.”

5. No guilt trips allowed!
Guilt is like rocking in a rocking chair. It’s something to do, but it doesn’t
get you anywhere. Be grateful and appreciate life. If someone lays a guilt
trip on you, remind yourself, “I am not responsible for how you hear or
translate what I kindly say.” Boundaries are essential.

Maybe excuses hit home because holidays are approaching.
“Overwhelm” seems to be the word of the day. Remember,
“Too much to do!” starts with you. Self-care is essential.
Is that you I see stopping to organize and prioritize?
Getting out the red pen to cross off some unnecessary items?
Still having a problem? Flash me an email. I’ve got a gorilla and
a black grand-dog cock-a-poo, Fido, who will happily chase them away!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all of you who have purchased my new book,
“Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
for Thanksgiving and Christmas gifts. It’s packed with heart-warming
stories and picturesque photography.

Want more adventure?  Don’t forget to take a look at my new book…
“Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

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