Dr. Judy Krings Recent Posts

Valentine’s Day Values ~ Love or Bah-Humbug?

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:03 am

Are you a romantic like I am? Valentine’s Day is meaningful.
Or are you the type who thinks Valentine’s Day is just another day?
Or worse yet, a bah-humbug commercial rip off?

Thinking of Valentine’s Day gave me pause. “What is so important about it?”
The answer fell upon me like a handful of lovingly tossed colorful heart confetti.
Love to me is like connecting the love dots between people. I mindfully stop,
think about you, and a smile erupts.

Anyone I love, I am grateful for you sharing my world. And if you can put up
with zestful, nutty me, let me tell you, you are special and deserve recognition!

I don’t need to lavish you with expensive gifts. Instead, I send you in a
Facebook, e-card, or email reminding you wherever you go, I carry you
in my heart. That includes all of  you positivity partners reading this
blog right now. Thank you!

Think of your 24 character strengths.
Where is your “Love and the Ability to Love” strength?
You already know where mine is. Right near the top.
Yup, I’m the type, when I love,  I love you deaf, dumb and blind.

True loving reminds me of positive psychologist Dr. Chris Peterson’s mantra,
“Other people matter.”

OK, so even if Valentine’s Day isn’t your cup of tea, I know how
unselfish you are! Think how good you’ll feel when you lavish a
little love onto someone you care about.

And don’t forget to LOVE YOURSELF! It took me many coaching
sessions to verbalize that, but now I can! How about you?

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Want to see how I expressed Love to Ken while I was in Cuba?

You can see how in my new book ~
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity!
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Kick Obsessiveness to the Curb!

Posted by Dr. Judy at 7:59 am

Do you have that little voice someone who incessantly talks to you?
Tells you how you screwed up, puts you down, or belittles you when
life has given you too many sour notes? Is ”second-guessing” yourself
embedded in your brain?

Or does your little voice positivity remind you of what you need or want
to do to make your day meaningful? Your inner voice is like the Energizer
Bunny who never winds down offering you hope and happiness?

I don’t know about you, but I was born an obsessive thinker.
My “internal dialogue”  or self-talk starts chattering in my head as soon as
I wake up. Sometimes it’s talking  about left-over stuff and other times with
novelty. Did you know your brain solves problems for you, offers you ideas,
or clarifies your world while you sleep?  Yes, during sleep your brain is still
chomping away like a busy beaver.

Like everything else, obsessive thinking can be a pro or con. Great part is you
can generate ideas. On a good day, the creative stuff pops out and you muse
about fun ideas and possibilities. That’s super. You then can then develop an
action plan and create goals and accomplish them and YIPPEE!

On a tough day, your inner critic may pop out, slap you around, reminding you
that your membership in the ”Royal Flunkee Club” is well deserved.

What if you just accepted that your brain works nonstop? To savor your curiosity
and energy that allows you to get more things happily done? To accept yourself
rather than listening to chastising, harsh self talk.

What can you DO to get your inner dialogue to stop?

1. Physically get up and move! Changing your environment gives the brain
a diversion and helps quell your obsessiveness. It fires up your brain to pay
attention to something else. A re-framing relief.

2. Magic slate it away. When I was in coach training years ago, and
I was  incessantly beating myself up for a mistake, esteemed Anne Durand,
MentorCoach  CEO,  told me, “This is not rocket science! It is one coaching
session. Judy, let it go!” But obsessive  me, I was still angry with myself.
Exasperated, she admonished, “Get over your big, damn self!”  I smiled.
She was right. And boy did that idea stick!

3. Treat yourself with respect.You are respectful to others; why not try on
that size yourself? You can tailor your inner self talk to look for the good. It works!

4. Write down one good thing that happened each day. One gratitude,
one good experience, anything that made you smile. Humor is another spirit lifter.
Remember those cancer patients who watched funny sitcoms got better faster
and lived longer?

5. Reread your positive intentions and affirmations.Praise yourself for
following through. Be gentle with yourself. Quit putting your washing machine
cycle on heavy duty!  Tell yourself affirming self-statements, “It was hard, but
I did it.  I am proud of myself.”

6. Accept you ain’t perfect! That is what is so wonderful about you!
Your uniqueness and  mess ups make you a lovely human. If your brain
works over time, love it anyway. Making mistakes is always your golden
opportunity to learn. Living is learning and it keeps your brain in tiptop
shape. It even wards off dementia!

7. What you focus on grows. You can retrain your brain. The more you
focus on how  wonderful you are, the more your brain will believe it. Your neurons
will sprout positivity.  Use your tenacity strength. Find a positivity partner who
will help you remember to let go of your sticky negativity. Being accountable to
someone propels your positivity into high gear. Watch your confidence and
competence add sparkle to your life.

Have any light bulbs turned on for you obsessive thinkers?
May I kindly ask you to LET GO! of stinkin’ obsessive thinkin’.
Forgive and accept yourself, warts and all.

Go stomp in the rain or have a snowball fight. Smile at life.
No beating yourself up. Hug your ever-moving brain and thank God you have one!

Did I hear a negative “Yes…But this is hard!” emanating from your mouth?
My Mom used to teasingly threaten me, “Do you want me to come after
you with the fly swatter?”  Ouch!

Nah, you don’t need a sting, you need to learn to sing! How ’bout:

“I love myself, yes I do, do-dah, do-dah,
I love myself in every way, oh do-dah day!”

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Want to review your strengths and see how to make them work for you?
You can see fun and picturesque 2-page stories in my new book.
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity!
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Fun Quiz: Am I Ready for Coaching?

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

One more thing…
When you make the joyful decision to transform your life into the dream
you have imagined, and you get a coach, always let your coach know about
how you like to be coached:  Gentle nudge; Energetic encouragement, Direct
suggestions, Pedal to the metal and full steam ahead;  Saunter and savor;
Send me information emails; or Nail me if I am not accountable!
You direct your coach’s traffic. I love your feedback and appreciate every
comment. What’s whipping around in your plans turns my cream into savory butter!

Turquoise Runs Rings Around Resilience

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

Has your life ever been hi-jacked? Let me tell you a true story.
It began 4 years ago. How would you feel if this happened to you?

What if you were 89 years old and in one fell swoop lost your identity
as you had known it? You were whisked off to an assisted living center,
your broken ankle in a cast, your butt in a wheelchair, and deaf because
no one remembered to bring along your cochlear implant? Your daughter
is desperately trying to get a plane flight to come and look after you.
Shockingly quick, within a matter of days per your wishes, your house is
sold for a low ball price. You will never see the home you designed and
built 50 years ago. No saying good-bye to your possessions. Never get to
water your precious plants in your beloved greenhouse. No one last time.
Tough to swallow, but at least you rationalize your house was sold. That’s
how fast life locked the door to my Mom’s reality.

Resilience. Pluck. Awareness and acceptance. They all took time.
But her 90th birthday surprise a month later really perked her up.
Connections. Belonging. Tenacity to heal. Petting her sweet Scottie
dog, Katie, once in awhile, made life worth living again. As you know,
Mom is now 93, out of assisted living, and as she put it, “Living like a
princess, no make that a queen!” at Cathy and Bill’s home in Delaware.
She’s the one with two dogs in her lap with 3 larger pups vying for attention.

But one small detail was lacking, not that Mom would ever complain.
Mom’s hands have been knotted and swollen by arthritis for years.
She missed wearing a ring, but she didn’t want me to buy her new ones nor
to have her rings sized larger. But one day a few months ago, she was
philosophically saying she did miss wearing a ring, but she knew none would fit.

You know me; I had a light bulb moment. On my next flight home, I took all
her rings. I also went to an antique shop and bought 3 I thought might fit.
Full of hope, off to Delaware I flew, rings tucked safely in my purse along
with the whole top tray of her old jewelry box.

To see Mom’s face light up when she saw those rings was worth a million bucks.
With vigor and hope in her heart, she delightedly tried on every one. To her
surprise, several fit. Talk about joy! I was praying her 30 year old watch would
work, too, if I could find a battery. Eureka! I lucked out. That old turquoise
time piece kindly began tick-tocking away.

I am in my 6th decade, and it never ceases to amaze me how every time I
visit Mom, I learn something new about life. To savor. To let go of regrets.
To look for the good. To appreciate EVERYTHING! Mom is the poster girl
for living positive psychology and living her best life now.

Turquoise blue like the azure seas of the Pacific…I look down upon this beauty
ever day from our jungle perch here in Puerto Vallarta.  Everyday I think of
Mom wearing her rings and watch.

What has been your toughest life challenge?
Which strengths became your life preserver?
Which ones plastered a smile upon your face again?
Courage, love of learning, forgiveness? What else?

No matter what, you have 24 strengths to choose from everyday to feather
your nest.  Time to soar to new heights. Just like Mom.Did you remember
I wrote a strengths book dedicated to her?

Want to review your strengths and see how to make them work for you?
You can see fun and picturesque 2-page stories in my new book.
Click here to take a peek!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Learn From My Nepalese Son: Say ‘Yes!’ to Your Life!

Posted by Dr. Judy at 1:09 am

© 2012 Dr. Judy Krings

“A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes.”
~Mahatma Gandhi

Do you start off every New Year’s with telling yourself what you want, need
to, or have to change? What if you actively thought and focused on what is
already RIGHT about your life?

Let me tell you a story about Hari, my adopted son from Nepal. Hari sacrifices
every time he calls me from his expensive cell phone, but he says, “Ama, I just
want to hear your voice.” He isn’t able to call often. Sometimes he has a 4-hour
round bus trip to call or email me. Many times I am with a coaching client, and
I cannot take his call. It kills me when I see it’s him as my phone flashes his number
and I cannot take his call.

Today I was coaching a super sweet, lovely client when his number beeped in.
Usually I would never interrupt a client’s session. But this lady is a super Mom gem,
and I had a gut feeling I needed to take Hari’s call. I asked her permission, and she
was thrilled for me. She happily encouraged me to take it. Bless her!

Back story? Hari, 27, has had many losses in his life, including his mother when
he was 3. In September, Hari lost much of his home and the lean-to for his only
cow in the Nepal earthquake.  I was dying to see how he and his wife and two
kids were doing. He works as a Himalayan guide and does office work at Earthbound
Expeditions In Kathmandu. No one climbs the Himalayas this time of year, so money
is scarce. When my two friends and I were going to visit his home, the roads were
washed out. Hari did not want me to know his house had major damage. He never
wants me to worry about him. He always wants to support me! I didn’t know about
his loss until I returned from Nepal. He only wanted me to remember the good.

After we chatted a short time today, I knew Hari was OK. He was starting to
work on his destroyed home. Heartbreaking, In a third world country like
Nepal, everything happens at a snail’s pace, and Hari is not a man of means.
He needed  to save money before he could begin to rebuild. In his heart,
however, Hari is the richest man alive. He lives his Hindu religion and is the
most positive man I have ever met.

When I quickly returned to my coaching session, my client who follows my blog,
was curious to learn about Hari’s philosophy. She and I had been discussing her
wanting more focus and simplicity in life. I told her what I had learned about
Hari in Nepal, while he was swinging on a 40′ tall bamboo swing. The swings
are erected for holiday celebrations, and people in Nepal are very excited
about standing up and swinging as high to Heaven as they can.

Hari did not know I had walked down to where he was swinging. I stood on
the sidelines savoring the huge grin on his face. With every pull to make the
swing go forward, he yelled the word, “Yes!” over and over.

After the Hari call, my delighted client, now in a very upbeat mode, retorted,
“This is perfect! That is what I need to do. To say ‘YES’ to my life instead of
always focusing on how I need to multi-task to do more. I get It.  Awareness…
Acceptance… To appreciate the little things. That is what I need…Simplicity.
Enjoying what I learned from Hari! This IS my real life. This man has few
material things, but he embraces life and loves Nepal and his family, and you,
his American Mom. This session Is perfect! You respected me and Hari.
He called just to hear your voice. Wow! This makes him happy. And all along
I have been looking for this big concept, ‘What an I do to get happier?’
Now I get it!”

Talk about a win-win! I profusely thanked her for reflecting her virtues and
strengths. Her optimistic, loving, kind, forgiving, and curious values helped
me use my courage strength to ask her permission to talk to Hari. She is
thrilled that I am blogging about this so she can pay her new learning forward.

What do you want to say YES! to in your life? You make my day when I hear
from you, so please put a smile on my face and drop me and email.

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Savor a new adventure and the beautiful photography in my new book:
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings