Tag : Ask Dr Judy

Grumpy Not Grateful.

Q. In these tough economic times I know I should feel grateful. I have a job, and I’m not broke. But my retirement has dwindled. I have to work years longer until retirement. I feel blah. How can I get out of this funk?

A. Was it Bette Davis who said, “Fasten your seat belt? It’s going to be a bumpy ride”? I empathize with your financial concerns. Many of us are in the same boat.

Positive psychology life coaching tips will help get your mojo moving down the happiness highway.

Breaking news! You can learn to stretch your gratitude muscle and pump up your positivity.

Here are 7 tips to unleash your gratitude guru:

1. Get up every morning and remind yourself of one thing you are grateful for. Maybe it is just being able to get up and get moving. Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have. Be appreciative of your family, your health, your pet.

2. Throughout the day, make a list of all the things you are grateful for. Carry a pad or cool notebook to journal the good stuff. You will start to feel happy just looking at it. Or write in it before you go to bed. Journal every positive thing you noticed. Even if it was a tough day, look for what went right. Use your senses. What did you see, taste, touch, smell, and hear that made your heart sing?

3. Put a gratitude reminder on your calendar. Once an hour, stop and think of something or someone who has contributed to your happiness. The more often you stop and pause to think of the good, the sooner your brain will register this

gratitude exploration as a habit. Ask, “What is my opportunity to be grateful here”?

4. Have fun. When you go to the bathroom, be grateful. You get to take a break for a minute. Time for yourself. Laugh at this one, but it will remind you in life to take a few minutes for yourself.

5. Thank as many people as you can for little things you notice them doing that contributes to your happiness. Their smile will add to the quality of your life. Thank the bag boy at the grocery store, hug your neighbor, or give the dog an extra pat.

6. When someone is nasty to you, complains or tells you something you don’t want to hear, listen to what they say. Here’s the tough part. Again, ask yourself, “What is my opportunity”? In your situation, you need to work more years. What could be positive about this? Perhaps you are well liked at work. Maybe people pay attention to you and appreciate you. The happiest people have the best social connections. Or maybe you can remind yourself that you are still healthy and be grateful that you are able to work. You can still support your family. If you look for ways to mine for the gold of what is good about working, you will find it.

7. Every day, say out loud, “I am grateful for______.” Listen to yourself. Forgive yourself for feeling blue. Allow the negative self-talk to surface and then release it like a helium balloon.

8. Stuck? Can’t think of anything good? Look for the things you may be taking for granted. Can you walk, talk, read, and learn? Start to be grateful for the little everyday things, and soon you will notice your attitude will shift. You will appreciate that your life could be a whole lot worse. Think of what life must have been like for Superman actor quadriplegic, Christopher Reeves, yet he chose to be grateful.

These may seem like simple activities. They are! Start doing them today. Like anything else worth doing, gratitude takes practice. Soon worry will be replaced with wonder. Your silver lining will shine again.