Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am
Are you a chicken? Is exploring your soul scary?
Or are you already a learner or seeker?
No time like the present to zestfully find out about yourself and what makes you tick? Notice I said “tick” but maybe you would like to discover why you get ticked off, too!
What does it take for you to sit a spell with yourself? To get real what you really WANT your life to look like from the inside out. To kick fearfulness to the curb. To become an explorer in your own life. To pack courage in your parachute and know you will land safely.
How about a coaching challenge. Cool ways for you to face your fears, look at them square in the eyes and yell, “Bring it on!” Even the scary stuff!
First, you need to get the cobwebs out of your brain. Get clear. Pinpoint exactly what you want to conquer. No one foot nailed down going around in a circle. I acted this out with a client this week, and he almost peed his pants laughing at me. Then he told me that was exactly what he was doing. His fearful brain and negative self-talk would not let him proceed. He didn’t have the right hammer to remove the nail to march forward, but he does now. And it’s your turn now!
Here are the 7 tips you need, your personalized hammer, to let your inner adventurer fly to the place where curiosity supplants fear:
1. Know where to start ~ Know your passions. Not sure? Then list 5 times in your life you were sublimely happy. What were you doing and feeling? What blows up your energy balloon? Noted curiosity researcher, Dr. Todd Kashdan, in his acclaimed book, Curious?, suggests you visit your local bookstore and see what sections intrigue you. If like photography, how could you challenge yourself? Get the new camera you have always wanted, take photos in a new place, or take a class. Set your inner explorer free!
2. Relax and imagine it ~ Close your eyes and visualize what you want. Paint a mental picture in your mind. Believe: ” I DO THIS!”. Fantasize what you want and there will be a greater likelihood you will check this off your bucket list. It may be as simple as cooking a new recipe or as challenging as climbing Mt. Ranier. What you focus on grows. Research indicates using “outcome simulation” makes it more likely you will achieve your goals. Fear or no fear. Think it, write it down, and keep picturing it in your mind until you do it. And get this. The more difficult it is, within reason, of course, the more likely you are to achieve it, according to esteemed motivational researcher, Dr. Heidi Halvorson.
3. Get expert advice ~ After you pinpoint your desired adventure, do fun homework. Scout the Internet, books, and people who have already accomplished your dream. Plunge into their fascinating stories. Be like a bird dog and hunt down how they did it. What flexible, creative strategies can you learn from them? Be specific. Get directions. Know before you go. Expect to fall down and scrape you knee. That is part of the fun of rock climbing and cycling. You pay to play and find joy along the way. Getting to the peak of your life’s desires…Ahhh!
4. Share your explorer plan ~ John Donne said, “No man is an island”. Think about your heading to a brave new world like Columbus. Can you imagine the discussion he had with his wife before he went? “Dear, I am headed off to…well…I hope the Spice Islands, but to tell you the truth, I might fall off the edge of the earth.” Any new endeavor is risky. To lessen fear, share you dream plans with others. Heck, you can even develop a “dream team” and share each others’ imaginations and goals. Shared support. You need encouragement from others who will add to your own energy, especially when roadblocks seem to get in your way.
5. Think big and little ~ OK. You have your dream blueprint in front of you. Maybe you are going to plan a trip to Bali. You have imagined in your brain. You see yourself on the beach. You have researched all the side trips you want to make. You began a vacation fund. You have told friends you WILL be accomplishing this by a set date. Now what? Here’s a fun side trip. You learn to develop a new Mindset every day about little things in life. Why? According to Dr. Kashdan, “Finding novel sensations in the everyday hits a reset button”. How? By changing your daily routine. Go to a new coffee shop. Take a different way to work, jog in a new location. In this manner, you put your brain on alert and exercise it. Doing this gives more muscle power to your big Bali trip. And it’s fun! Conscious awareness of nuance puts your bran in sharper focus. Cool!
6. Embrace the pain ~ Allow yourself to fail, feel the fear, get off track, but know this is normal. For example, you are ready to go to Nepal, and your Mom gets sick. I know this one! But dear Mom’s are worth putting the skidders on your almost there explorations. Life intervenes with stuff, and you need to acknowledge it. You have to postpone your trip. Big deal. Your world does not end. It morphs. It’s life. So blame what! Keep your dream, just postpone it. Yes, you might feel uneasy feelings, but it is these scrapes and bruises that add to your resilience. Maybe you want to run a marathon and pull a muscle. It hurts like hell and you are sore, but know you will another marathon. No pain no gain many times while you explore. Even scars can be positive reminders of your relentlessly moving forward. Smile and think of the stories you have to tell.
7. Nix the naysayers ~ Your own fearful negative self talk as well as the Doubting Thomases who want to rain on your parade. Think of Mother Theresa when everyone told her she could not feed thousands of starving people. Tenaciously, (and you sure as heck need to stretch your tenacity muscle to be an intrepid explorer) she marched on. She had a vision. She made plans. She made them happen. She dodged bullets on so many levels. Stick to your guns. Ask for the support you need. Go for it!
Did you have fun closing your eyes thinking about the fabulous adventures waiting to appear on your radar screen? How many dreams did you add for Bucket List?
There’s no better time than now. “It’s your life, live it well!” my old radio mantra. Hope you included me in your dreams and plans. Your did read what I said about side kicks adding to your adventure, right ;)
And speaking of adventure, have you taken a vicarious trip with me to Cuba? Hope so.
See the Cubans’ amazing spirit and beautiful scenery in my book:
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity!
Now a best-seller on Amazon ~ Kindle
I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
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