Tag : Positive Psychology

Kick Obsessiveness to the Curb!

Posted by Dr. Judy at 7:59 am

Do you have that little voice someone who incessantly talks to you?
Tells you how you screwed up, puts you down, or belittles you when
life has given you too many sour notes? Is ”second-guessing” yourself
embedded in your brain?

Or does your little voice positivity remind you of what you need or want
to do to make your day meaningful? Your inner voice is like the Energizer
Bunny who never winds down offering you hope and happiness?

I don’t know about you, but I was born an obsessive thinker.
My “internal dialogue”  or self-talk starts chattering in my head as soon as
I wake up. Sometimes it’s talking  about left-over stuff and other times with
novelty. Did you know your brain solves problems for you, offers you ideas,
or clarifies your world while you sleep?  Yes, during sleep your brain is still
chomping away like a busy beaver.

Like everything else, obsessive thinking can be a pro or con. Great part is you
can generate ideas. On a good day, the creative stuff pops out and you muse
about fun ideas and possibilities. That’s super. You then can then develop an
action plan and create goals and accomplish them and YIPPEE!

On a tough day, your inner critic may pop out, slap you around, reminding you
that your membership in the ”Royal Flunkee Club” is well deserved.

What if you just accepted that your brain works nonstop? To savor your curiosity
and energy that allows you to get more things happily done? To accept yourself
rather than listening to chastising, harsh self talk.

What can you DO to get your inner dialogue to stop?

1. Physically get up and move! Changing your environment gives the brain
a diversion and helps quell your obsessiveness. It fires up your brain to pay
attention to something else. A re-framing relief.

2. Magic slate it away. When I was in coach training years ago, and
I was  incessantly beating myself up for a mistake, esteemed Anne Durand,
MentorCoach  CEO,  told me, “This is not rocket science! It is one coaching
session. Judy, let it go!” But obsessive  me, I was still angry with myself.
Exasperated, she admonished, “Get over your big, damn self!”  I smiled.
She was right. And boy did that idea stick!

3. Treat yourself with respect.You are respectful to others; why not try on
that size yourself? You can tailor your inner self talk to look for the good. It works!

4. Write down one good thing that happened each day. One gratitude,
one good experience, anything that made you smile. Humor is another spirit lifter.
Remember those cancer patients who watched funny sitcoms got better faster
and lived longer?

5. Reread your positive intentions and affirmations.Praise yourself for
following through. Be gentle with yourself. Quit putting your washing machine
cycle on heavy duty!  Tell yourself affirming self-statements, “It was hard, but
I did it.  I am proud of myself.”

6. Accept you ain’t perfect! That is what is so wonderful about you!
Your uniqueness and  mess ups make you a lovely human. If your brain
works over time, love it anyway. Making mistakes is always your golden
opportunity to learn. Living is learning and it keeps your brain in tiptop
shape. It even wards off dementia!

7. What you focus on grows. You can retrain your brain. The more you
focus on how  wonderful you are, the more your brain will believe it. Your neurons
will sprout positivity.  Use your tenacity strength. Find a positivity partner who
will help you remember to let go of your sticky negativity. Being accountable to
someone propels your positivity into high gear. Watch your confidence and
competence add sparkle to your life.

Have any light bulbs turned on for you obsessive thinkers?
May I kindly ask you to LET GO! of stinkin’ obsessive thinkin’.
Forgive and accept yourself, warts and all.

Go stomp in the rain or have a snowball fight. Smile at life.
No beating yourself up. Hug your ever-moving brain and thank God you have one!

Did I hear a negative “Yes…But this is hard!” emanating from your mouth?
My Mom used to teasingly threaten me, “Do you want me to come after
you with the fly swatter?”  Ouch!

Nah, you don’t need a sting, you need to learn to sing! How ’bout:

“I love myself, yes I do, do-dah, do-dah,
I love myself in every way, oh do-dah day!”

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Want to review your strengths and see how to make them work for you?
You can see fun and picturesque 2-page stories in my new book.
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity!
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Fun Quiz: Am I Ready for Coaching?

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

One more thing…
When you make the joyful decision to transform your life into the dream
you have imagined, and you get a coach, always let your coach know about
how you like to be coached:  Gentle nudge; Energetic encouragement, Direct
suggestions, Pedal to the metal and full steam ahead;  Saunter and savor;
Send me information emails; or Nail me if I am not accountable!
You direct your coach’s traffic. I love your feedback and appreciate every
comment. What’s whipping around in your plans turns my cream into savory butter!

7 Tips to Happy New Year Happiness

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

Are you the champagne guzzlin’, midnight hot-lipped kisser,
“HAPPY NEW YEAR” celebrator? Or maybe you love to sit quietly
at home and watch the NY Time Square folks in all their revelry.
Or do you sleep through the commotion thinking New Year’s is just another day?

I like to ponder the past a bit and then think how I want the
next year to be. Some years I make an intention to focus on a theme,
like “Less,” “Freedom,” Peace,” or “Forgiveness.”  Other years I have a
very specific plan and goal. Last year’s was “Get your book published!”
Talk about the need to line up all my character strengths to pull that one off!
Huge thanks to all you faithful supporters who bought my book and let me
know how much you are enjoying it. Click here to see the listing on Amazon!

How can you know, absolutely know, you will be happier this year? Here’s how:

1. Look for all the positives about yourself. If you get stuck, ask several trusted
friends what is positively unique about you. Their responses will blow you away.
Life satisfaction is a largely a result of whether you feel good about who you are.
You need to confidently know you are going in the direction of growth and
achievement. Use your strengths to stand up to adversity. Look challenges
in the eye and yell, “Bring it on!”

2. Be courageous. Know you are the master of your universe and the skilled
captain of your ship. Make an action plan and “ACT, NOT REACT” with negativity
when life seems to be rotating off its axis. You are in control. Plan and follow
through with specific goals. Be accountable!

3. Reach out to others.  Extroverted folks have an easier time in life and report
they are happier than introverts. That said, introverts can learn to be more
social, more hopeful and more upbeat if they seek out supportive relationships.
Remember, I said you need to be courageous! Even a smile opens doors.

4. Own an optimistic attitude. This is key to you becoming happier. Negativity
breeds like fruit flies! Keep those negative nuisance thoughts in their petri dish!
Be hopeful yet realistic. Watch your confidence soar. Look for the good.
You will find it if you focus on it.

5. Power up positive social relationships. This is major and two-pronged:
social support and emotional intimacy. If you have loyal and understanding
friends with whom you confide (if they add humor, all the better!), you will
report greater subjective well-being. Deep emotional relationships add
sparkle and clarity to your life. Coping with life’s problems and feeling better
about yourself is easier when you have others who emotionally care and share.

6. Vision, purpose, and meaning. Huge concepts! Add spirituality and get double
your pleasure happiness. This takes soul-searching and ongoing awareness to
achieve balance. Acknowledge what you want in life and why. Make a plan to
master your wishes. Be in the service of others as well as maintaining your own
vision. It’s OK to be off balance! That’s called NORMAL! Plant new seeds of learning
and watch your happiness grow. Be mindful of what you want in life. Keep moving
forward, even when life’s head winds make your journey challenging.

7. Negative internal dialogue? Let go of it!  When you hear your inner critic,
that nasty little part of yourself that puts you down, banish it to the sidelines.
Accept and hug it if you want, but let it know YOU are in charge of your own life.
You are a winner. Listen to your positivity. Remember to embrace your strengths.

If this were a quiz, how would you score? How about using these tips as your
New Year plan or goal? You are wonderful, creative, and have within yourself
every blame thing you need to bask in well-being and happiness.

Happy New Year! Make me dance like the Cuban dancer you see in my photo.
Flash me an email and let me know how you measure your New Year happiness.
I’ll be so grateful to hear from you.

Can you see me waving at you with a gigantic grin belting out,
“Love, Light, and Laughter! ?”

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Savor a new adventure and the beautiful photography in my new book:
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

Spontaneous Humor: Ho Ho Ho Frivolous Play Flow!

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

© 2011 Dr. Judy Krings

Are you the type who loves all the hustle and bustle of the holidays?
Or are you someone who feels like Scrooge on a bad day and wishes
all the folderol was over?  Maybe you are somewhere in between.
Regardless, I have a solution to lighten up your load for the holidays
as well as your New Year to-do lists.

Spontaneous “frivolous flow play!”

I read this phrase from StoryPeople the other day and cracked up. Me to a tee:
“Silly in Public: I figured out that if I keep it up, someday I’ll probably get wise
enough to be silly in public but I probably won’t wait that long.”

I didn’t wait long as this photo reveals!

Did you ever sit on Santa’s lap? Were you scared?
Did you eye him up good before you took a seat?

When I was about 5, I remember seeing the string on Santa’s beard and asking
myself, “What’s with that?”  I asked Mom, and she said he was a helper. Santa was
too busy to be everywhere at one time. That was all I needed to hear.
Whew, Santa was real!

When I was in Delaware visiting Mom as few weeks ago, my best friend,
Cheryl Lynn eyed Santa and Mrs. Claus sitting on the boardwalk ready
for the young’ins to arrive. I couldn’t resist! Memories are a soft place to land.

Here’s a tip. Get someone to take a photo of your frolic.
I was so appreciative Cheryl caught the moment. Any time with her is a treat,
but we now have another shared memory to laugh at and roll our eyeballs
when our tandem rocking chairs creak. A double-your-pleasure of positive reminiscing.

Hope your holidays sparkled. What frivolous fun play might you allow yourself today?
Funny how jumping at an opportunity to laugh while others gasp fills up your
gratitude tank and re-frames the moment to joy.

Is that you I spy looking for an opportunity to pounce?
I love to here from you! What did you do to curl your toes this holiday season?

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Want more frivolous fun flow in 2012?  Join me in Cuba…

Savor a new adventure and the beautiful photography in my new book:
Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power of Positivity”
Click here to take a peek!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings

How to Celebrate When Your Goals Go Great!

Posted by Dr. Judy at 3:00 am

You did it! You had a big, audacious hairy goal, and you achieved it! Hot dog dandy!
You slogged through the “I am EVER going to get closure on this?” to
“Yippee, it’s finished!”  Maybe you had to put your seatbelt on to survive
all the turbulence, but you flew through the clouds into sunny skies.

Then what? Did you unceremoniously cross it off your “I’m relieved” list?
Did you routinely move onto your next task? If so, Whoa! Hold on Bubba…
There’s something wrong with this story.

Try this instead. Slow down your train.

Remember the old adage about the guy who was riding the train in the most
beautiful country in the world? The scenery outside was magically magnificent.
Trouble is the guy never looked outside. He is so intent on getting to his
destination, he forgot to enjoy his incredible ride. He got there, but no
stunning journey fanfare.

When I finally published my book, the day came unexpectedly. After months of
publishing delays and a few bald spots from pulling my hair out, I couldn’t believe
it was happening.

Then an idea hit me! I needed to anchor the day and fly high! I hesitated a moment
before I picked up the phone to call our small airport. Clarity. Blue skies.
What better way to remember the day?

But wait, another idea took wing. I phoned my friend under the guise of having
her take photos. You know, sentimental me. What she didn’t know? She was
going with me! Till that day, I had no idea she had never flown in a small plane.
A win-win flying spin!

How have you celebrated a huge goal accomplishment? Did you pause and sit
into your joy? I sure as heck hope you took the time to let the win sink in!
You deserve it. And notice the colorful windsock saluting the sky in your honor.

I would love to hear how you celebrated your, “YES!!! I did it!” big goal
accomplishment glory. Is that you I see renting a plane and doing loop-de-loops?

Want to celebrate with me?
Gift yourself, your clients and friends with a snappy, vivacious, uplifting treat.
Humbly, I think their coffee table would be perfect for my colorful photo book
with a big positivity heart. “Photo Adventures in Cuba ~ Unlock Your Power
of Positivity.” Check out my website at…Click here to take a peek!

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I’d love to hear from you!
Just send me your questions, and I will answer in a future blog.
You can also connect with me on facebook, LinkedIn, or twitter
www.facebook.com/drjudykrings