Have you ever remodeled a bathroom, or if you are a glutton for punishment, a whole house?
If so, deep bows of admiration to you. I salute your grit. You are tenacity, courage, and optimism printed on a toilet paper roll!
Ken and I wanted to plan for our senior status future, which is almost here. Time to gut our only bathroom upstairs, take out the tub module, and install a walk-in wheelchair accessible shower. I was our hopeful, excited project manager. I did the leg work, lined up the contractors, ordered the supplies, and designed the nifty space.
Do you get the foreshadowing here? The best laid plans of mice, men and Judy!
Planning and goal-setting done, heck, it couldn’t take for than 2-3 weeks. All the supplies were ordered and on their way! I hear you laughing now. We are into our 8th week! Heck, in 1981, our entire house was built in 16 weeks. Granted those guys were working everyday. I am still kicking myself in the rump for letting them talk me out of adding a powder room upstairs. I was not using my critical thinking strength, no siree. But life is learning. Presently, many swift trots down to the tiny bathroom downstairs have made me smile. One mini-bathroom is better than none!
Time to pause and put on my big girl party pants with the word “Resilience” emblazoned on the tush! After all, we are talking about displaced butts!
How to strap on Positive Psychology for this journey?
Look for good! Smile, be optimistic, flexible, open-minded, and above all curious about the whole process.
Even when the remodelers were sick, stone supplies from Bali were lost, and I had an unexpected major health issue to add to the challenge, I had made up my mind ahead of time, I was going to go with the FLOW. I would not to stress over the remodel mess. But, tenacious me did make quite a few phone calls!
I even drew fun designs in the tile dust all over the house! I made friends with my Swifter Wet Jet. Clients accepted of the noise and joined in the fun asking to see the daily progress. I used gratitude and shared it with the guys all day long. My Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence strength was in bliss as each travertine tile found it’s new home.
I sat and relaxed to esteemed positive psychology researcher Barbara Fredrickson’s loving kindness meditations. How accepting yourself, noticing your thoughts and feelings, and having self-compassion adds so many positive emotions to your existence.
Then it dawned on me. All of life is remodeling! How unique.
You are born with strengths and talents. You hone them, lean into them, put some in mothballs for awhile, but as you mature, you continue to add to your life’s repertoire. You can respond to life’s challenges or react negatively and waste your emotional resources. What an AHA! Moment.
I am joyfully taking classes from the esteemed Fredrickson through MentorCoach. Talk about enlightening. Fredrickson’s “Broaden and Build” positivity fits here beautifully. Notice how adding at least three times more positive experiences than negative one adds to the richness of your life and has health and longevity benefits, too. Powerful! Not that you push negative thoughts under the rug. Rather, you hold positive and negative side by side with a sense of openness to the suggestions from yourself and others. You know they are little shoots of possibilities growing, even when life looks dire.
How do you learn this new positivity habit?
First, notice and focus on your 10 Positive Emotions (PE). I have a list of the PE’s out on my desk along with my 24 character strengths. My priceless positivity life guide.
Research-based, here are the 10 Positive Emotions:
- Love (and it contains elements of all the others, a powerhouse of positive)
Have fun as you expand your awareness of these emotions. Here are two steps:
1. Enhance your positivity by focusing on one emotion a week.
Watch your upward spiral of positivity thrill you. Write down what blew up your PE balloon the most. Ask yourself WHY this affected you so positivity. Sit into the why and grow your positivity muscle.
2. Notice how many of these PE’s involve another person.
“Positive Resonance” is a remarkable phenomenon. Mind-blowing. Every micro-moment of connection between people, every one, adds to your love reservoir. Even meeting the eyes of someone you don’t know at a coffee shop and exchanging smiles adds to your love currency. And listen to this, your experience of love can be strengthened in ways that improve your health and longevity!
Powerful, this research on how you can learn to expand your positivity every day.
Do you have something on your goal list challenging you to rev up your personal remodeling resilience?
If you need help in building up your positivity reservoir, that is what my positive psychology coaching is all about. We work as a team to assist you remodeling your overwhelm or dis-ease into well-being with a resilience chaser!
Feel free to give me a buzz or flash me an email. You deserve to remodel and spark your new and improved YOU, with a spit shine of positivity polish, too!